Chart Review: 26th April 2024

Making sense of a nation’s musical tastes.

We’re not blessed with a ton of new stuff, and 50 percent of it comes (unsurprisingly) from one artist, who we’ll get to in due course. At (33) is Headie One feat. Stormzy with “Cry No More”. This is a decent UK hip hop track with some meaningful lyrics about regret and maturing which are, in my view, diminished a little bit by Headie’s incredibly reserved delivery, especially when compared with the effortlessly charismatic and forceful flow of Stormzy. I've heard the name but wasn’t familiar with his work; when I look him up I see he’s been in prison and involved in some pretty serious altercations, so his almost timid vocals are real don’t judge a book stuff. Still, there’s plenty of substance here, and the sample feels quite retro, quite ‘90s East Coast to me. 

I don’t know what to make of Shaboozey’s “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” at (16). It’s sort of pop-country, with that stomp-clap beat and some clumsily tacked on fiddle playing. The lyrics are as route one as they get (save for a mention of a Birkin bag in the first line, which doesn’t feel too in keeping with the genre) - working man likes to have a drink. But then the production’s insanely slick and the chorus cribs from J-Kwon’s “Tipsy”. In a sense it’s the antithesis of the Headie One song - Shaboozey’s got a nice voice (albeit one that sounds somewhat fiddled with by a producer) but there’s absolutely no protein to this track. I find the country music gatekeepers awfully tedious (not least because there’s often a racial element to it) and from reading a little about the artist, this is evidently his genre, so it’s presumably not a trend chasing exercise, but it doesn’t feel like a great deal of thought has gone into this one. 

The rap beef of the decade thus far(?) has taken another turn, with Drake throwing his hat into the ring after Kendrick’s broadside and J Cole’s rather embarrassing effort from a few weeks back. I’ve never really connected with the Canadian superstar, but “Push Ups” (15) seems to do the job better than the rest. It’s a quality over quantity approach from Drake, but the relentlessness works, piling up lines about Kendrick’s stature and willingness to work with lame artists. The beat’s nothing to write home about but puts all the more focus on Drake’s bars. Fair play to him for even entering this arena again after Pusha T’s astonishingly cruel demolition of him a few years back. I do think Kendrick still comes out of this whole thing the best by just staying quiet, though, especially after Drake had to retract another song he made using AI Tupac after complaints from the late Mr Shakur’s estate (they’re Team Kendrick all the way). 

Now let’s get to the main event. To the surprise of no one, Taylor Swift has dominated the Top 10, with three tracks off of The Tortured Poets Department occupying four of the top slots. On the album briefly, it’s unsurprisingly picked up some backlash due to the incredible ubiquity of Swift over the past two years or so. That was always going to happen; she attracts an unusual level of devotion in her fan base and carefully manages her public persona (which you would too if you were getting her column inches), which has left people gunning for her to a degree. Some of the criticisms I’ve read of this music seem to have come from people who’ve just never experienced art before, picking lyrics out of context and suggesting they’re cringe or having a pop at her for using her real experiences as motivation for her songwriting. There are some wild bits on the record (the GTA thing, the bit about travelling to the 1800s), but I’d argue you can take almost any lyric out of a song and it can look stupid. I’m not a mega fan of Swift by any means but I really enjoyed the album (the standard version, anyway - I’m not listening to two hours of this stuff). 

“Down Bad” at (4) isn’t a highlight of the record by any means - it’s the kind of midtempo heartbreak song she made her name writing. There are some neat lyrics but musically it’s the rather bland dark pop that seems to have garnered a lot of the album’s criticism. The LP’s title track at (2) I like a lot more. This is one of the record’s most obvious Matty Healy takedowns, painting the 1975 frontman and tedious edgelord as a pseud and a big baby. It’s a much more interesting track, more ‘80s pop leaning, and it’s packed full of quotables other writers would sell their soul for. She’s not the strongest singer in the world but she knows exactly how to use her voice (see “Cruel Summer”) and throws it up high to euphoric effect. In the chorus she makes reference to Patti Smith and the Chelsea Hotel - her lyrics are unpicked to death but I haven’t seen anyone make a connection to the Len Cohen song there, which was the first thing I thought (yes I know that song’s about Janis Joplin). 

At (1) is “Fortnight”, the opening track on the record featuring Post Malone. This is definitely a highlight of the album. It sounds quite a lot like her pal Lana Del Ray (as does the opening line on the title track) and not unlike The Blue Nile, who get a shout out elsewhere on the album (they’re one of Healy’s fave bands, it transpires). It’s a superb start to the record; she’s unusually oblique in her lyrics and it’s far more effective when you’re actually given something to decode (if that’s your thing) or allowed to just listen to the track without wondering which line’s about which famous relationship etc. Great build, works even better as the opening statement of the full album but it’s a hit for sure. Ethan Hawke’s in the video very briefly.


I would note that the three tracks that have hit the top of the charts are four of the first songs on the album, so you have to wonder how much of this is people seeing what the hype is all about and then turning it off pretty quickly. For my money the most interesting tune is “Florida!!!” with Florence Welch as well as the downbeat closer. You can certainly expect Taylor to stick around these here charts for a while, though.

Pick of the week: Taylor Swift feat. Post Malone - “Fortnight”

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